The crazy thing wasn’t that I’d been missing words. The crazy thing is that I kept thinking I’m going to start writing when. And then I started realizing that I was constantly waiting for when.
- I’ll start writing again when I’ve got my life together.
- I’ll get in-shape when the kids aren’t so demanding.
- I’ll be more present when juggling ALL the things doesn’t feel so hard.
Are you laughing with me or at me? Either way, I’ll take it if you chuckled because laughter is such great medicine. (Also, you’re welcome)
So, what’s changed? I was tired of waiting for when.
I dipped my toes a bit with a few Instagram posts. I wet my whistle, so to speak, reaching out to friends and writing stories at the first grade level for Pepper. It was nuts. In all the juggling of kids and a business during the summer I lost her reading books. So I started writing my own. It was a sweet little way to flex my creative side.
I was writing about cats with hats and dogs with bows. The whole time I’m trying to work in the ‘rules’ she was learning about big vowel sounds and small vowel sounds, while keeping the story interesting and not including words that were too big. The exercise gave me a HUGE appreciation for people who do that work.
Or used to. Because as more than one friend pointed out, I could have given Chat the rules to follow and she would have given me back 20-plus stories in a fraction of the time it took me to write one page.
But I digress.
The Home Run: Pepper Asking “Can you add a new character tomorrow mommy?”
What really made it a home run was when Pepper asked, ‘Can you add a new character tomorrow mommy?’ That little question had me hooked. I LOVE using words to connect with people. Getting to use words to connect with one of my tiny human? That’s pure joy.
Writing used to be my refuge. My processing tool. My way of connecting. But somewhere between postpartum madness and AI insanity, my writing took a backseat. I began to question my voice (and in some way my self-worth).
While typing this, I wrote a sentence. Stopped. Removed the em dash (a punctuation tool I used to LOVE). Re-read the sentence. Realized it wasn’t as good. And, still did not put the em dash back in because “it’s too AI.”
AI isn’t a bad thing. It’s a vital tool. If you’re not learning how to work with it, you’re going to be left behind (especially in my industry). But for those of us who have spent years or DECADES honing our craft, it can be a real mind-f**k! I guess getting older does the same thing. We age, but can’t quite comprehend the time that has passed while we sit nursing nagging injuries from our early 20s and new ones from simply living life.
When will I be back here again? I hope soon. But if it takes a little bit, I’m okay with that too. Because part of saying when is NOW, is also showing myself the grace not to be perfect.
